PARASHAT VAYISHLACH (Genesis 32:4-36:43)
Jacob and his family flee Paddan-Aram, as recorded in the opening verses of Parashat Vayishlach (Gen 32:4-36:43). We know from the previous parasha that the main reason for the family’s departure was due to the unscrupulous personal and business practices of Jacob's father-in-law, Lavan. In this Torah portion, see Jacob experience a life-changing wrestling match. Leading up to that pivotal episode beyond, there is a compelling narrative—some of it almost hidden from view, yet revealing the crucial impact of extraordinary women who supported, guided and even shaped Jacob’s destiny as a prince called Israel.
The Torah portion Chayei Sarah(Genesis 24:15) recalls Abraham's servant Eliezer meeting Rebecca, future wife of Isaac, at a well, where she not only offers him water but voluntarily waters his camels, showing her generosity and compassion. Genesis 25:22 shows that she merited to receive a pivotal prophecy regarding her twins, Jacob and Esau. Her devotion to God is further demonstrated when she assists Jacob in receiving the blessing from his father, Isaac, despite the risks involved. The reader will recall, in Parashat Toldot, Jacob obtained that blessing that came with the Birthright. Even though he sold the birthright to Jacob years before, Esav accused his brother of stealing his legacy. Rebecca warns Jacob to flee his brother’s murderous wrath:
"Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; arise, flee to Laban my brother in Haran. Stay with him for a while until your brother's fury turns away, until your brother's anger against you turns away and he forgets what you have done to him; then I will send and bring you from there.” - Genesis 27:45-46
That journey will serve another purpose: to find a wife for Jacob from Rebecca’s kinsmen. It is in this initial meeting that we encounter an figure described only as Rebecca’s wet-nurse (see Genesis 24:59). We look to the Oral Tradition to find that her name was Devora, the daughter of Uz.
Interestingly, Devora also plays a roll in Jacob’s decision to finally escape the treachery of Lavan, after twenty years of arduous labor for his family. The Torah commentators expand on this event, and relate Rebecca’s promise to send for Jacob when it was safe to return home. Rashi states that this mission was entrusted to the nurse maid and nanny, the elderly Devora who makes her way to Paddan-Aram with Rebecca’s message that it was time to come back home. Devora joins Jacob’s caravan for the return to Beersheva. But the situation rapidly deteriorates into a potential war with Esav and four-hundred of his soldiers. Jacob prepares by praying, exercising diplomacy via humility. He dispatches men from his company, sending gifts to Esav.
On the way to this fateful meeting with Esav, Jacob stops for the night at the Yabbok River. He sends his entire household across the river, divided into two camps for their safety. There alone, he encounters either a man or an angelic being. The text in Genesis, Chapter 32, describes this figure as a "man" (Ish) in some verses, while in others, the figure is referred to as an "angel" (malach). According to the Talmud, Rabbi Yochanan says it was an angel, specifically the guardian angel of Esav. Rashi explains that the angel took on the appearance of a man, while the Radak and Ramban, suggest the malach was both a man and an angel simultaneously.
Just like the infant that held onto his brother's heel, Jacob does not let go until his adversary confirms Jacob owns the birthright, as well as the honor of being called Israel, which can rendered as "upright with God" or "man struggling with God."
Surviving the all-night brawl, Jacob calls the site Peniel, exclaiming he had, “Seen Elohim face to face but my life was saved!”
Jacob had fully grasped that every encounter in life, whether man or angel, good or evil—every living experience, is placed before us by the Creator.
Esav and Jacob meet and yet, disaster was averted when the brothers reunite. In the Jewish chronology known as Seder Olam, they met on the 9th of Av, a significant date in Jewish history that saw tragic events unfold, including the Sin of the Spies and the destruction of the First and Second Temples.
Esav accepts the gifts bestowed on him by Jacob and the brothers seem to make amends with Esav suggesting they travel to his home, in Seir. Instead, Jacob makes his way to the outskirts of Shechem. This time, disaster is not averted.
His daughter Dinah is kidnapped and raped.
According to the Midrash, Dinah's abduction by Shechem the son of Hamor, was a significant moment of loss and great distress for Jacob—initially he was silent about the outrage. Some commentators suggest that Dinah's trip into the city was a lapse of judgement but the general consensus is that the attack was disgusting and unjust, revealing the level of barbarism accepted as the norm among the Canaanite people.
Dinah's brothers, Shimon and Levi decided to retaliate and employed guile to render the men of the city weak and harmless, allowing Shimon and Levi to slaughter all of them. The brothers defended their actions because no one the city had sought any justice for Dinah—making the entire city complicit. Even so, their father, Jacob was angry. He believed their actions would precipitate an all out war on the family. But the nearby towns took no action. According to the Torah," the dread of God fell upon the surrounding towns."
The Midrash relates that Dinah became pregnant and gave birth to a girl she named, Osnat. The child’s uncles were unkind to her, so Jacob sent her away. She was later adopted by the Egyptian priest, Potiphera.
The story of Dinah must have surely made Jacob extremely cautious and more reflective about the moral choices of his children. It may have also reinforced his sense of responsibility for the safety and well-being of his family, as well as the need to set an example of just leadership to the people of Canaan. After these events, Jacob pulled up stakes and moved the family to Bet El. And sadness followed him there:
“Devora, Rivka’s nurse, died. She was buried below Bet-El, beneath the oak, so they called its name: Allon Bakhut/Oak of Weeping.” - Genesis 35:8
This text is actually the first time that the identity of Rebecca’s wet nurse is revealed in the Torah. This almost terse statement yields the reason the tree is called “The Oak of Weeping”. Only days after Devora’s burial, Jacob learned that his mother Rebecca had passed away. He had missed her funeral. His tears flowed as he stood under that oak, reflecting on the deep mutual connection he had with both women. Devora’s death marks a moment of closure for Jacob. She was one of the last links to his early life with his mother. The loss of both women within days of each other signified the end of an era in Jacob's life. He had reached a new level of emotional maturation. The nurturing of Devora, during the formative years of Rebecca, ultimately shaped her character, as well as Jacob's.
Not long after the death of his mother and her nurse maid, Jacob loses his beloved Rachel.
In Genesis 35:16-20, Rachel dies while giving birth to her second son, Benjamin, as the family is journeying from Bet-El toward Bet Lechem. Jacob sets up a tombstone over her grave, which is still located today, about five miles south of Jerusalem. The deep love Jacob possessed for Rachel deeply affected him, even refusing to be comforted. The tomb of Rachel serves as a poignant symbol of both loss and hope:
"Thus says the Lord: A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are no more." (Jeremiah 31:15)
In Jeremiah’s prophecy, Rachel’s mourning for her children, the exiled Israelites, is met with the promise of their eventual return. As such, Rachel’s tomb remains a place of prayer, reflection, and a symbol of the Jewish people's enduring connection to their land and their hope for a future redemption. It also symbolizes Rachel's ongoing spiritual influence on Jacob's descendants and a poignant symbol of both loss and hope.
Rachel’s memory influenced how Jacob related to his other children, particularly to Rachel’s son, Joseph, which contributed to the family tensions and Joseph's ultimate exile.
The women mentioned in Vayishlach all contributed, in countless and complex ways to forming Jacob’s character, providing emotional depth, wisdom, and a range of experiences that transformed his soul and character so that he led a life that was a vibrant testament to Torah-values. That legacy is seen in his deep relationship with all of the women in his life; the maternal figures, wives and daughters whose descendants, like the ladder in his dream, will connect heaven and earth. That mission is confirmed in Ezekiel 37:28, where HaShem promises :
“I will establish them and multiply them, and I will place My Sanctuary among them forever.”
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