Holy Sparks Within Desire

Parashat Ki Teitzei (Deuteronomy 21:10 - 25:19)

Here in the month of Elul we are led to reflect on our deeds as we prepare to stand before the King in judgement. Aiding us in this work are the Torah portions we have read during the past weeks (Re’eh, Shoftim, Ki Teitzei) which seem to merge into a common theme: Human desire — and how the Torah teaches us to sanctify it.

We even see this pattern if we look back to the time when the offering of Kayin was rejected. He seethed with genuine anger and jealousy. Hashem did not demand that he erase it, but rather to rule over it. God's simple direction to Kayin was that passion can destroy, or it can harnessed for greatness.

In the most recent weekly Torah readings, Israel was taught that, while in the wilderness, they could only eat meat as part of the korbanot but Hashem concedes:

“When the Lord your God enlarges your border… and you say, ‘I desire to eat meat,’ … you may eat meat according to all the desire of your soul.” (Devarim 12:20–21)

Ramban explains: this was a dispensation because HaShem built this desire into our nature. Rather than forbid it, He regulates it via the laws of kashrut, including shechitah. The appetite remains, but it is framed as a path to gratitude, not gluttony.

In the opening of Parashat Ki Teitzei we encounter what is for some, a difficult teaching:

"When you take the field against your enemies, and your God delivers them into your power and you take some of them and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her and would take her [into your household] as your wife..." - Devarim 21:10–11

Rashi comments: “The Torah spoke only against the evil inclination.” In the heat of battle, desire may overwhelm. Instead of forbidding these actions outright, the Torah imposes a pause and demands certain provisions be met that call for respect and compassion for the woman’s plight. She must be brought into the house, her hair shaved, her nails cut, a month of mourning for the loss of her former home are required. By then, the passion has cooled.

Here again: appetite is acknowledged, but Torah demands reflection which leads to compassion before indulgence.

Later in this Torah portion we see the law of shiluach ha-ken:

“If a bird’s nest chances before you… and the mother is sitting upon the young or upon the eggs, you shall not take the mother with the young. You shall surely send the mother away, and take the young for yourself.” - Devarim 22:6–7

Here, desire for food is not denied but transformed. Specifically, it is a kindness to the mother bird, she is sent away and survives to propagate more of her kind. Ramban and Sefer HaChinuch teach that this mitzvah is more about us —pausing to send away the mother cultivates compassion for the weak and innocent. Again the Creator acknowledges that we were created to experience hunger—if not we would probably perish. But, the desire for food is elevated into mercy, into awareness of life’s continuitys.

This is not a Torah of denial. It is a Torah of discipline that harnesses kindness.

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch adds another vital note. On the law of the captive woman, he reminds us that the Torah was given not to angels but to humans. God does not command us to suppress our nature, but to discipline it through Torah. Precisely by acknowledging passions — food, intimacy, the yearning for life — and placing them under Divine guidance, we transform them from raw instincts into moral, God-directed acts.

For Hirsch, this is the Torah’s brilliance: holiness does not come by escaping human drives, but by elevating them. The Torah does not deny our humanity; it sanctifies it.

As the Rambam teaches, during the days of Elul, Hashem is “close to all who call on Him sincerely.” Measure for measure: when we exercise mercy, Hashem shows mercy.

When we master our appetites, Hashem tempers His judgment.

In Elul, every passion becomes a chance for greatness: hunger becomes gratitude, desire becomes restraint, appetite becomes compassion. And in that work of the heart, we prepare to stand before the King, who will in turn, clothe Himself in mercy on Yom Kippur.